Babies certainly are little miracles — no wonder you’re thinking about your faith as your due date approaches! If you are planning on raising your child as part of a religion, it can be a tricky decision to navigate if you and your partner have different beliefs. It’s a big decision, so take plenty of time to consider (and discuss with your partner) these four basic options.
Choose your religion
If your husband sleeps in while you attend weekend services, chances are you’ll be more excited to share your religious traditions with your child. Before your baby comes, invite your partner to observe some of the religious ceremonies that come with the start of a new life — a baptism for a Christian baby or a bris for a Jewish baby boy. Explain the different parts of the ceremony beforehand so your partner understands the meaning behind what’s happening. And fill them in on the other important rites of passage throughout life, as well as the basic tenets of the religion.
Once your baby arrives, remind your partner that they're welcome to participate in your religious community, but don’t force the issue since your little one will already have you as her spiritual guide. You might find that once she’s older — and more vocal about her spiritual experiences — your partner will want to join you both.
Choose your partner’s religion
If your partner is more devout than you, they may want the baby to be raised within their faith. Before you commit (remember, this is something you’ll have to embrace for years to come), take time to learn what it means to grow up with your partner’s religion. Discuss how observant your partner expects your child to be and to what extent they want you to participate.
Even if you’re not particularly religious, you may want to consider how your family would take the news. If you intend to raise your little one in your partner’s Jewish faith, for example, will your family be okay with your child not making their First Communion? If you and your partner decide that there are religious traditions you'll no longer participate in, break the news to your parents beforehand. Explain that even though you might pass on the religious aspects of the holiday, you’ll happily join in less religiously charged ones.
More About Holidays and Religious Services
Borrow traditions from both religions
If neither you nor your partner feels strongly about choosing one religion over the other, there’s no reason you can’t expose your child to the best of both worlds. A baby boy can have both a baptism and a bris — even if some devout followers of either faith take issue with mixing religions. Enjoy the fact that you can both enjoy holiday traditions with your respective families. And while you don’t need to worry about it yet, consider what you’ll tell your child when he inevitably asks which religion he belongs to.
Choose a new religion for your family
Not particularly attached to either of your religions? It might be time to explore a new one you can both embrace. If you have friends who practice a faith you’re curious about, ask them if you can participate in a series of services as a means of “trying on” a new religion. If you’d rather strike out on your own, check out Web sites or books devoted to specific faiths to determine which one your beliefs most closely align with.
Faithfully yours,
Yes 
No 
Trending On What to Expect
