Giving birth to a baby gives you an instant excuse the next time you forget something. Misplace the remote control? Forget to make a dental appointment? Can't recall the thing you're supposed to do that you literally just thought of a minute ago? Blame it all on "mom brain."
Although mom brain is often thought of as a joke, a woman's brain really does change during pregnancy and after she gives birth, science suggests, and it does so in positive ways.
What is mom brain?
Colloquially, "mom brain" refers to the forgetfulness and brain fog that some mothers experience after the birth of their children. Whether you call it mom brain, mommy brain, momnesia or baby brain, if you're a mother, you likely can relate.
Within minutes of thinking of a task you need to complete, it may slip your mind. Or you might blank on the name of your neighbor's dog or feel like you're always misplacing something.
These moments echo “pregnancy brain,” which can also manifest as forgetfulness. Some women may fear they're showing signs of early cognitive decline, but these slips are totally normal and highly common. As disconcerting as they might feel, there's no reason to worry.
Is mom brain real?
Recent research has found that moms’ brains really do differ in several aspects not necessarily related to forgetfulness.
Our brains have the ability to readjust in impressive ways. They adapt as we learn new things, experience challenges and, yes, become moms.
During pregnancy and after giving birth, a mother's brain changes. Gray matter decreases in certain parts of the brain during pregnancy and then increases in some brain regions postpartum. This pruning of neurons seems to help your brain specialize in all those new maternal skills once your little one arrives.
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Some of these brain changes appear to help you become a better caregiver. For example, research shows that postpartum growth in the amygdala, hypothalamus and substantia nigra is associated with positive feelings about your baby. And growth in the prefrontal cortex may help a mother make the many, many decisions she faces every day as well as manage her emotions.
What causes mom brain?
The maternal brain changes seen in studies may or may not have anything to do with the memory lapses a mother experiences.
It may come down to how moms devote their energy to take care of their newborns. So while you may misplace your phone, you know a “feed me” cry from an “I want attention” cry and you could likely rattle off the times your baby fed today and how many poops you cleaned up.
In other words, it's not that your brain is slipping. Rather, your focus is on other things — important ones that keep your child safe and healthy.
Or it could be that the brain regions that shrink aren't as important to caring for a newborn. So your brain puts more energy into growing those regions that do matter. For example, one study found that the recall of verbal information diminishes during pregnancy and after birth. But that same study also found that recognition and working memory remain unchanged.
How long does mom brain last?
It's unclear how long these brain changes last, but the fogginess and forgetfulness should subside a few months after delivery.
Moms whose youngest child was at least 1 year old performed just as well as non-mothers on attention tests and had even better executive control, one study found. This means they're better at processing all the information coming at them at once and still focusing on the main task at hand.
While there isn't any definitive data on how long these changes last, thanks to the brain's neuroplasticity, it's likely that eventually moms simply adjust. Especially as things become routine and even more so as your child grows older, you don't need to devote quite as much brain power to worries about things like choking or deviating from the bedtime routine once in a while.
Can you get rid of mom brain?
You cannot prevent or get rid of maternal brain changes on your own accord, but remember that many of these adaptations are positive. If you find yourself struggling with forgetfulness and fogginess, there are ways to manage it.
- Go easy on yourself. Memory lapses can happen to all mothers, and criticizing yourself can increase your stress and further cloud your brain.
- Befriend lists. Whether you use pen and paper or an app, keep running tabs of everything that comes to your mind: groceries to buy, questions for the pediatrician, calls you need to return. You can also create reminders in your phone to help you follow through on these tasks.
- Talk to other moms. Join a new mom group, or chat with your friends who have kids or even your own mother. Hearing others' stories will let you see that you're not alone, and they may have advice you haven't thought of.
- Prioritize sleep. It's a struggle at times, but get as much sleep as you can. A good night's rest supports your memory and cognition.
- Focus on the big picture. So you forgot to pay the credit card bill and owe a late fee. It stinks, but is it really that big of a deal? Your baby is doing well and that's what matters. Even better, reflect on the special moments you had today. Did your little one laugh at you, eat a new food or say a new word? That beats having a Jeopardy!-like mind.
The forgetfulness associated with “mom brain” can happen to a lot of mothers, but your brain does undergo many positive changes during pregnancy and in the postpartum period. Much of this preps you to be a more responsive, better mom.
As embarrassing as mental slip-ups may be, try to take them in stride. Write lists, use reminder apps and take other actions to help yourself remember more. And keep in mind that this stage isn't forever. Eventually, you’ll probably laugh at the time you couldn’t find your keys while holding them in your hand.
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