Key findings
- Almost a quarter of moms have sex within six weeks of delivery. Doctors often recommend waiting around six weeks before resuming penetrative intercourse, but 26 percent report having sex for the first time after birth sooner than that.
- Another 46 percent wait longer than six weeks — sometimes taking six months, a year or more before resuming penetrative sex.
- It's no surprise many moms need more time. About a quarter of women surveyed (23 percent) reported experiencing painful sex after giving birth. General pelvic pain and pressure also affect about 1 in 4 moms.
Every baby, every birth and every postpartum recovery journey is unique. The standard guidance from health care providers — generally, to wait about six weeks before having penetrative sex — doesn't quite line up with what many new moms need and experience, according to a survey conducted by Everyday Health Group, What to Expect's parent company.
The 478 respondents, all who have given birth, had vastly different timelines for resuming penetrative intercourse as well as non-penetrative sex and masturbation. This held true for different delivery types, including vaginal births and cesarean sections.
"The six-week mark is actually pretty arbitrary," explains Rebecca Amaru, M.D., a board-certified OB/GYN at Mount Sinai Health System and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board. "The recovery is so variable. This is such an individual experience for women that it's really hard to make rules."
A quarter of moms wait less than six weeks after giving birth to have sex
After giving birth, many women hear that six weeks postpartum is when it's safe to return to sexual activity, and 24 percent of the moms we surveyed waited until exactly that point. But it's not always clear-cut.
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The American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists (ACOG) says there's really no set timeline.[1] It now recommends that moms see a provider multiple times within those first six to eight weeks following birth depending on their own unique situations.[2]
Some women feel ready sooner. In fact, about 1 in 4 moms (26 percent) surveyed waited less than six weeks to have penetrative intercourse.
"You do want to be cleared by your provider first," explains Katie Propst, M.D., a urogynecologist at the University of South Florida and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board. "Every woman's healing is just so individual for so many different reasons."
Even if you're mentally and emotionally ready, your body may need more time for the cervix to close, the uterus to shrink and any tears to heal. This process can take more or less than six weeks.
"I got the okay from my doctor to 'celebrate' with my partner after four weeks," says one What to Expect community member. "My partner was really gentle and perceptive the whole time, which helped."
Almost half of moms wait longer — and sometimes much longer
Another 46 percent of moms surveyed waited more than seven weeks to have penetrative intercourse. Delivery type didn't seem to make a difference, with roughly equal numbers of women who had vaginal (44 percent) or C-section deliveries (49 percent) saying they waited more than seven weeks to have sex.
The average survey respondent in fact waited until around 10 weeks. A full 11 percent waited between three and six months, 3 percent waited between 7 and 12 months, and another 2 percent waited a year or longer before returning to penetrative sex.
"I did not want to even think about or do it until seven months after our first was born," says one What to Expect mom. "This time, I'm four weeks postpartum after a C-section and still have severe pain and infection of the incision, so it's a hard 'no' for now."
Postpartum symptoms can make sex uncomfortable for way more than six weeks
Nearly a quarter of women surveyed (23 percent) experienced painful sex after giving birth — and this symptom lasted for 20 weeks on average. Pelvic pain and pressure also affect about 1 in 4 moms and usually remained for 14 or 15 weeks.
Given the longevity of these symptoms, it isn't a surprise that many postpartum women choose to wait to have sex. Beyond pelvic pressure and back pain, women who breastfeed may also experience hormonal changes that lower sex drive and contribute to painful sex.
"Breastfeeding causes you to have very low estrogen levels," Dr. Amaru explains. This hormonal swing can contribute to vaginal dryness and discomfort.
When or how moms resume their sex lives can also vary based on the circumstances of the birth, such as the degree of tearing and any prior deliveries. "The physical recovery is often much harder after the first baby," Dr. Amaru says.
How much social support a mom has, whether she has a long-term partner, and whether she's dealing with a postpartum mood disorder like postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety can also play into this timeline.
The key thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to suffer in silence. If you feel physical symptoms are holding you back from resuming sex, talk to your doctor, no matter where you are in your postpartum journey.
While a lot of post-birth pain does get better with time, available treatments can help speed recovery. Pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegel exercises, over-the-counter pain relievers, lubricants and hormonal treatments like estrogen creams can go a long way depending on what's going on.
The key takeaway: "It’s not true that you don't get to think of yourself after you have children," Dr. Propst says. "It's okay to take some more time before returning to sex, but if things are not improving by six weeks, you can work with your provider to find a solution."
Moms take time to get back to other forms of sex and intimacy too
Penetrative sex isn't the only kind of sex. On average, moms also waited nine weeks postpartum to have non-penetrative relations with a partner and 13 weeks to masturbate.
All of the changes that come along with welcoming a new baby to your life make it hard to find time for yourself, much less your relationship.
"What influences a woman's return to sex is complicated," Dr. Propst says. It's not uncommon for moms in this period to feel "touched out," overwhelmed by new responsibilities or just plain tired — on top of all the physical challenges of recovery.
In the end, there's no normal when it comes to postpartum recovery and no "right" time to return to intimacy. In fact, if you're not having sex yet and you’re fine with it, there's no reason to worry.
"There's a lot of cultural pressure to return to sex," Dr. Propst says. "But as with any other time in life, if a woman isn't sexually active and is okay with that, there's no reason to change things."
Methodology
The Everyday Health Group Pregnancy & Parenting Talk to Moms Monthly Poll was conducted by Everyday Health Group – Pregnancy and Parenting between January 31 and February 3, 2023. We surveyed 478 respondents who have given birth and have at least one child up to 5 years old. The survey was fielded among the Dynata Research Panel.
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