Deciding which of the many child care options will work best for you and your family is the first (giant) step to making your child care experience successful.
Step two: Starting child care off on the right foot by making your little one as comfortable as you can with the person or people caring for her.
If your baby is under 6 months, you probably don’t have to worry about separation or stranger anxiety (a phase that usually appears between 6 and 9 months and peaks around 12 to 15 months) — but at any age, it helps if you take things slowly so your wee one can ease into her new setting and have the best child care experience possible. Here’s how:
Starting child care if you're hiring a nanny
The best way to begin the child care experience with a nanny? Have her spend at least one full paid day (and more if possible) with you before you return to work. That way, the nanny has time to see how you do things and ask you questions.
Plus, your baby can get used to her while you’re still around — something that will make your little one feel more secure and comfortable. Don’t rush this bonding process — start with your cutie in your arms (plopping her into the arms of the caregiver without warning isn’t comfortable for either of them). Then move your baby to neutral territory (like her swing or activity center) near the nanny.
When your little one lets down her guard, encourage her to allow the nanny to pick her up. Sometimes, no matter what your new nanny does, your infant will fuss and cry as long as you’re around, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t hired a good nanny.
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Pay attention to how the caregiver reacts to your unhappy baby. Does she show patience? Great. Is she easily flustered? Give her a little time, but if things don’t improve, you might want to reconsider.
Starting child care if your baby's in a group or family day care
If your little one will stay with an in-home day care provider or at a group day care facility, plan to stick around (at least for a while) on the first day or first several days to help her make the transition.
The older your baby, the more wary she’ll be of the whole child care experience — she’s likely to feel especially uneasy around unfamiliar caregivers and peers — and the more she’ll want you around.
As she becomes used to her surroundings, you can gradually move away and let the caregivers do their job. But when it’s time to leave, never sneak out. Your little one needs to trust that you won’t disappear on her, so make a point of kissing and hugging her goodbye.
Sizing up your child care experience
Your sweetie has been in your seemingly capable caregiver’s hands for several weeks now. So far, so good, but even if you’re feeling comfortable with your choice, it pays to get a different perspective.
Ask neighbors and friends (who might see the nanny out with your baby) for their opinion on how she and your child are doing. You can also come home unexpectedly early to find out what’s going on when you’re not around. The same "unannounced visit" strategy works with day cares or in-home day care providers.
Your baby can also tell you a lot, even if she’s not talking yet. These are some signs that your child care situation isn’t working out (or needs to change immediately):
- Your baby is still unhappy when she sees her caregiver or is dropped off at day care (acting more upset or frightened at being left than just sad that you’re leaving).
- Your baby is noticeably more unhappy, tired or cranky at the end of the day.
- Your baby’s diaper is consistently sopping wet or soiled when you pick her up or arrive home.
- Your baby is unusually withdrawn or shows other sudden behavior changes.
- Your baby has unexplained bruises, cuts or other possible signs of abuse.
Sometimes red flags appear later, which may signal that your baby has outgrown her caregiver. For example, a nanny who’s great with newborns may not be as good with an active toddler. Or, your family day care may not have the capacity to handle another toddler now that your baby is almost walking.
So don’t go on autopilot — stay alert for signs that you need to make a change. If you find a child care situation that may be a better fit and you really want to switch, try to do it after a natural break, like a vacation or a break in the schedule, so it’s not quite so jarring.
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