Talking to a Teacher About Problems in Preschool

All preschoolers need some help making the move from little kid to school kid, and there are bound to be some snags along the way. Maybe your tot suddenly just isn’t excited about going to preschool anymore. Or maybe your usually chatty child is clamming up once he enters the classroom (and takes some time to warm up again once he’s home). That’s where talking to a teacher comes in — and knowing what to say and how to say it can make the conversation a successful diplomatic mission.

Here’s what will help successfully smooth over any problems at preschool:

Know when to write. Yes, face time is nice, but not every issue requires talking to a teacher. You can usually leave a note or send an email for less-pressing matters, such as the fact that you child’s a little scared of the class hamster. On the other hand, being scared to use the school bathroom is one of those problems in preschool that does call for a conversation…pronto.
Time your talk right. Wouldn’t it be nice if a preschool teacher could drop everything to chat with you when you’re picking up or dropping off your child? But she can’t — she’s got a classroom of kids to tend to. So set up a phone call or an in-person appointment (or wait it out if a preschool parent-teacher conference is coming up soon). Just clue the teacher in on the topic you’d like to tackle so she’s ready to answer your questions when it’s time for your talk.
Set the right tone. When you do sit down with the teacher to discuss a preschool problem, remember the good-news-first method always works. Start with a positive about your child’s experience (“Zach really enjoyed last week’s rock-coloring project. What a great way to combine science and art!”) before bringing up any concerns.
Ask for her perspective. Sometimes you’d like to be a fly on the wall of your child’s classroom (or at least have access to a live video feed of his school day). The next best thing: a teacher’s-eye view. So instead of relying only on your observations (“Ellie seems bored by school. I don’t think she’s getting enough stimulation”), ask for her perspective (“I’ve noticed that Ellie isn’t as happy about going to school as she used to be. Is she acting differently in the classroom?”).
Swap insights. While they usually aren’t crazy about mommy micromanaging (after all, they have the best interest of many kids to consider, while you have just one), teachers definitely appreciate a parent’s perspective. So be sure to share observations you think might help the teacher help your child through a preschool problem. But also make sure you hear her out on what she’s noticed about your child — in this new environment, she may be discovering sides of him you’ve never noticed. Remember, good teamwork — and effective communication — is just the ticket for a better preschool experience.
Seal the deal. Solid teams depend on solid game plans. By the end of the talk, you and the teacher should be on the same page with a strategy to solve any preschool problems and make your child’s classroom time as happy and productive as possible: You’ll know how to best help your little one at home; she’ll know how to best help him at school. Also discuss when and how you should check back in on your child’s progress.